The Things I Regret
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Then, something happens. A good friend or loved one - maybe close to us in age - drops dead unexpectedly. We begin to think about what our biggest regrets would be if we were suddenly sitting on our death bed.
2. Standing up to bullies in school and in life. Believe it or not, a lot of our biggest regrets in life have to do with things that happened to us in grade 4 or some other early age. We never seem to forget - or forgive ourselves - for not speaking up against the bullies. We were too scared. We wish we had been more confident. And by the way most of us have also met up with a bully in our work life. Maybe he was our boss. We remember that one time we wish we'd told him off - even if it cost us our job. We usually take some small solace in hearing that that bully later on made some unfortunate career stumble.
5. Breaking up with my true love/Getting dumped by them. Romance is a big area of regret for most of us. Maybe we dumped someone that we wish we hadn't. Maybe they dumped us. Most play a never-ending game of \"what might have been\" for the rest of their lives. It is tough to simply be happy with the love that you've found and takes away from the special moments you have today, if you're constantly thinking back to what you once had -- which actually might not have been half as good as we think it was.
7. Not having enough confidence in myself. Related to the previous point, a big regret for most of us is questioning why we had such little confidence in ourselves. Why did we allow the concerns of others to weigh so heavy on us instead of trusting our own beliefs Maybe we didn't think we were worth having what we wanted. Maybe we just thought poorly of ourselves. Later on, we wish we could have been more self-confident.
9. Applying for that \"dream job\" I always wanted. Maybe we didn't apply for that job we always wanted to because of a child, or because our spouse didn't want to move cities. It might not have been the perfect job for us, but we always regret not trying out for it. Do you think Katie Couric regrets giving the nightly news gig a shot No way. Sometimes you swing and you miss, but you have no regrets later on.
12. Letting my marriage break down. Back to romance now. More people will divorce than stay together. If you ask these folks, they'll tell you that it was for the best. They couldn't take it any more. And, of course, there are some marriages that shouldn't go on and where divorce is the best for all parties involved. However, if you talk to many people privately, they'll tell you they regret their marriage breaking up. It's never just one thing that ends a marriage - even if that one thing is infidelity. There are usually lots of signs and problems leading up to that. The regrets most of us have is that we didn't correct some or most of those \"little things\" along the way. We can't control our spouse but we can control our actions and we know - deep down - we could have done more.
14. Burying the hatchet with a family member or old friend. I know family members that haven't talked to a brother or sister for 30 years. One's in bad health and will probably die soon. But neither he nor the other brother will make an effort. They've both written each other off. And there's blame on both sides - although I take one's side more. But these were two guys that were inseparable as kids. They got washed in a bucket in their parents' kitchen sink together. Now, neither one will make a move to improve things because they think they've tried and the other one is too stubborn. They think they've done all they can and washed their hands of the relationship. They'll regret that when one of them is no longer around.
16. Not asking that girl/boy out. Nerves get the best of us - especially when we're young. We can forgive ourselves that we didn't screw up enough courage to ask that boy or girl out on a date or to the prom. But that doesn't mean that we still won't think about it decades later. Sometimes people regret seeing someone famous or well-known in real life and not going up to them and telling them how much they inspired them in our lives. It's the same underlying fear. We always we could have just said what we really felt at that moment.
18. Not getting that degree (high school or college). I've spoken with lots of folks who didn't graduate with a high school or college degree. When I met them, they were already well-known at their job. And there are many examples I can think of where their jobs were very senior and they were very well-respected. However, if the education topic ever came up in private conversation, almost universally, you could tell they regretted not getting their degree. It made them insecure, almost like they worried they were going to be \"found out.\" Most of these folks will never go back to get it now. Whether they do or not, they're great at what they do and don't need to feel bad about not having that piece of paper.
23. Not visiting a dying friend before he died. I had a buddy I went to high school with who died 3 years ago. He was in his late 30s with a great wife and 3 great boys. He had cancer for the last 3 years of his life. We'd talked off and on over that time. Two months before he died, he called me and asked if I could come by to visit. I was in the process of moving and too busy with my own family. I said I'd come soon. A month later, it was clear he had days to live. I rushed to the hospital and did get to visit at his bedside before he passed, but he was a different guy from the one I'd spoken to only a month earlier on the phone. He was just hanging on. We hadn't been best friends and we hadn't seen much of each other since high school, but I know I'll always regret not going to visit him earlier when I'd had the chance. What I'd give to have one last regular chat with him.
24. Learning another language. A lot of us travel a lot. Fewer still have studied a second language. And this is a big regret down the road for many of us, even though it might seem like a small thing next to family, career, and romance. A lot of us wish we'd made the time to learn a new language to open up a whole new culture to us.
I'm 20 years old, and a junior in college. It feels like just yesterday I was the geeky, awkward freshman Hadeel! I've grown and learned a lot since then, so I have some regrets and tips for you to follow to have a successful four years at Wagner College.
I did not invest in a planner or Google Calendar until halfway through my sophomore year, and that was when I had more clarity. So much was going on and I could not keep track of any of it, because I was not properly documenting meeting times, homework, papers, etc. However, I forced myself to go to the bookstore and purchase a planner, and started using Google Calendar much more persistently (thanks to my sister Abeer, who showed me the ropes). By putting in important dates from my syllabi in my planner, interesting events from the Daily Bulletin into my Google Calendar, as well as meeting times and class times, I was able to set a better (a) meal schedule, (b) study schedule, and (c) social schedule. Putting in the things that are necessary for me as a student gave me the flexibility to then actually plan out my free time wisely. I can honestly say that I would not be as successful as I am without organizing my life using a planner and Google Calendar.
I am bilingual, with fluency in English and Arabic, but I wish that I picked up a third language in college. The Modern Languages Department is a gem at Wagner College, and if I had taken a few Spanish classes, with my high school experience in the language, and finally a study abroad, I could have been fluent. Speaking a multitude of languages is such an asset in a multicultural society. Being heavily involved in Port Richmond, I struggle with communication sometimes because I don't know how to talk to the community members who only speak Spanish. Therefore, I think learning another language is one of the best things you can do as a college student.
A huge, fat line of difference exists between constructive criticism and belittling. Most of us know what it feels like to be wrongly judged too quickly, but we should all appreciate the opportunity to grow from feedback. When you belittle someone, you will regret it because belittling others makes you nothing more than a bully.
It is a sad and true fact that too many buys are spontaneous and not well-planned nowadays. I would argue, however, that regretted buys, wrong investments and similar mistakes have always been a thing. A look into advertisements dating from fifty or a hundred years ago will reveal that there have always been useless gadgets, and it stands to reason that these found at least some customers.And I must mention that even I, who lives on a tight budget, who happens to shop rather in thrift stores that in exclusive venues and who would argue to not be all too prone to shopping sprees, have nontheless made buys and investments that I regretted afterwards. The only difference between mine and those presented here is their worth, which depend on the means disposable to a buyer.The reason for idle purchases lies only within ourselves, be it a lack of information or self-restraint, not in the system or the era one lives in.
Who says regret has to be negative What if regret was all about understanding and learning from our past, for the sake of living a better life today What if being clear about the things you regret not doing can help you gain certainty over your personal path to happiness
For most of my twenties, I lived like a monk, and well below my means. As I moved closer to 30, and my income increased, I started to upgrade my wardrobe, housing situation, and my car. Beyond the big ticket items I purchased, I also just acquired a variety of things that seemed crucial at the time. Electronics. Accessories. Furniture. Books. Many of these items have since been given away or are still taking up space in a storage unit we are renting at the moment. 59ce067264
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